Things I Learned While Traveling in China

1. Given the choice between authentic Chinese food and spaghetti, Mom
will pick spaghetti every time.

2. The iPhone 4S has remarkable battery life when left in airplane mode
for two and a half weeks.

3. Puns on the Disneyland Jungle Cruise are funny in every language.

4. I am half-baked. According to Chinese legend, there are three races
in the world, and they were created when a goddess baked people out of
clay. Caucasians = under-cooked, Africans = over-cooked, and Asians =
perfectly baked.

5. There are places in the world without Diet Coke. Be thankful for
all of your freedoms, Americans.

6. Xi'an is ancient Mandarin for "sandy shit-hole in middle of China".

7. Nothing makes you appreciate a reclining sofa more than a 14-hour
plane flight.

8. State Fair on Labor Day is not crowded. Times Square on New Year's
Eve is not crowded. The Mall of America the day after Thanksgiving is
not crowded. You haven't seen crowded until you've ridden on a Beijing
subway on a Sunday afternoon.

9. There's no end to the number of dam jokes one can make about a dam tour.

10. If it's made of tofu and looks like a bathtub mat, it will taste
like a bathtub mat.

Things Emily Learned While Traveling in China

1. Photo-bombing is funny in every language.

2. As long as you can mime sneezing and coughing, you can get cold medication anywhere. A mime is a terrible thing to waste.

3. Without sugar packets, tea is just disgusting hot water.

4. There are different levels of bathrooms in the world. When ranking a bathroom's quality, start by asking "does it have toilets or just holes?".

5. Everything in China is lucky. Literally, everything.

There's No Place Like...Your Own Bed

We returned home yesterday, to a balmy 27 degrees and a flat tire on Emily's car.  Sounds about right.

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and I celebrated by sleeping for 16 hours.  In my defense, I barely slept on the plane from Hong Kong, I still have the cold Emily gave me a week and a half ago, and I took some Zzz-quil before going to bed.  Truth be told, if Emily hadn't woken me up at 5pm I probably would have slept all day.

I updated all of the posts this evening so now everything displays properly. In case you were on the edge of your seat wondering about the rest of our adventures, you can now go back and read it all.  This blog thing was kind of fun and I think I might try to keep it up for future trips. Next up is skiing with Natalie in Vermont. Not quite international, but plenty of opportunities for incidents I am sure.

Almost home

We made it back to Chicago. 

Quoth the pilot, "The weather in Chicago is...sigh...not great."

The Happiest Place in Asia

Did you know Mickey speaks Cantonese? He does at Hong Kong Disneyland!

Hong Kong Disneyland is very similar to California Disneyland, just a little smaller  And Sleeping Beauty has a killer mountain view from her castle.

They also have a whole Toy Story Land!

They don't serve food like this for lunch as the US Disney parks-

-but the fireworks are terrific in any language!

Every vacation should end with fireworks!

The Big Buddha

I really should have counted how many buddhas we saw on this trip.

Today, on our way to Disneyland, we first went to see the Tian Tan Buddha. He is the world's largest seated outdoor buddha. To get to him, you take a 25-minute cable car ride over lushly vegetated, mountainous terrain. 

Or rather, that's what you do when the cable car is operating. When it's closed for repairs for a week, you take the bus. 

The terrain was still beautiful from the bus. It sort of feels like the island from Jurassic Park. Emily hopes the researchers at this facility keep a little closer eye on their velociraptors. 

At the top of the mountain, you climb 200-some stairs to see the Big Buddha up close. And he is big. 

That is three significant days of stair-climbing in a four day span. I need to relax. Time for some rides at Disneyland. 

Did I mention that Hong Kong is awesome?

High Tea at the Peninsula was well worth the wait. 

We each enjoyed selected our own preferred flavor of tea. Me- Jasmine, Emily- Raspberry, Mom- Tree Bark, I mean Chrysanthemum. We also had a selection of finger sandwiches, desserts, and scones with jam and clotted cream. Yum. 

It was almost unfortunate that we were too full for dinner, because after our tea we went to Hong Kong's "mid-levels" neighborhood, a trendy area with lots of bars and restaurants. The mid-levels are the area of the island midway between sea level and mountaintops. A lot of residents live in this area and work in the central district (at sea level). To encourage these residents to walk to work rather than drive or take crowded public transportation, the city built a series of escalators all up the side of the mountain. 

We rode the escalators as far up as we could go, then walked back down. (The escalators only go in one direction- since it was evening all the commuters were heading home, so the escalators were going up.) 636 steps back down, plus about 200 yards at a downward slope on an area without steps. 

We went back to the hotel and dropped Mom off- her knees would have preferred only around 300 steps- Emily and I went out for a little more souvenir shopping. A quick walk from our hotel was a frenetic night market, with busy stalls, interesting smells, and lots of people. 

We are sad that tomorrow is our last day, but happy that we'll be spending it at the happiest place on earth- Disneyland! Better get a good night's sleep!

Hong Kong, the Asian London

If London was on a gorgeous, tropical, mountainous island. And if almost every one of London's buildings was a skyscraper. And if it was always 70 degrees in London.

Basically, Hong Kong is awesome.

This is despite the fact that Hong Kong in the spring appears to have as much fog as London. Minor detail.

We arrived yesterday (my suitcase made it too!) and after checking into our hotel, we headed out to see the city. It's truly like nothing I've ever seen before. There are tons of neon lights, advertising the many shops and restaurants. Almost like Times Square, but on every block. The layout is really interesting too. Our hotel is on the Kowloon peninsula, which juts into the South China Sea, where Hong Kong Island is.

Every night there's a laser light show set to music projected off the buildings facing the harbor. We managed to score a great viewing spot.

This morning we took a tour of Hong Kong island. We went to Stanley Market, Aberdeen fishing harbor (the original British port), and then up to Victoria Peak, the highest point in Hong Kong. Despite the fog, we still saw some amazing vistas.

Now we are waiting patiently in a queue for high tea at The Peninsula Hotel, a fancy hotel so swanky they have a 3-piece ensemble playing live music for us in the lobby. It's a looooong queue, so it's a good thing we got snacks earlier!

A Threat to National Security

So, airport security in China is no joke.

I guess I was ignorantly expecting a pretty lax security process; maybe thinking that our restrictions are strict because we were the ones attacked on 911, and we're the ones all the terrorists are after. But China has enemies too, and obviously in the world we live in today airports have to take precautions.

And, oh yeah, they're a somewhat oppressive, strongly state-controlled country, where people really have no expectation of civil liberties, so the government can pretty much require whatever they think is best for the good of the country as a whole.

And what's good for the country is no one messing around at the airport.

First of all, instead of 200 people standing in line for three security lines, they have like 15 different stations, so the process seems to go quicker. You put your carry-on luggage through the x-ray machine, and then walk through the metal detector. They don't make you take your shoes or your coat off, but there's a trade-off. After passing through, you stand on a little pedestal, stick your arms straight out, and are subjected to an...um...mildly invasive pat-down process. There's a wand involved, and when it's over I really feel like someone should at least have bought me dinner.

They also take the ID checks pretty seriously. At one airport Emily was slightly delayed because she had to convince the woman checking her passport, who didn't speak English, that the photo was actually her. Granted, the photo is eight years old, and not only was Emily's hair straightened in the picture, she was staring off at some spot in the distance rather than looking into the camera. So Emily tilted her chin up, tried her best to look younger, and the woman finally let her in.

This morning, before our flight to Hong Kong, I sent my giant pink flowery checked luggage through the scanner at the check-in desk, and the dreaded red light came on. At this point I have checked this suitcase onto four other flights without a problem, so I was a little confused. The girl at the counter asked if I had a lighter or an other banned items, and I said no. So I had to go back behind the ticket counter and open up my suitcase, to find whatever was located in the spot she was pointing to on the x-ray picture. It turned out to be my cordless hair straightener (which, side note, has turned out to be an awesome Christmas present, thank you Emily). I took out the straightener and the butane cartridge that powers it, and was kind of surprised that the security girl didn't even look at the butane. She inspected the straightener, radio'd someone on her walkie-talkie, and then said I was okay. I just needed to send the suitcase through one more time.













So of course you know what happened next. I re-packed everything, locked up the suitcase, and went to put it back on the scanner, but another passenger's bag was in it already, so she pointed me down to another scanner. I put the suitcase in, and...the dreaded red light. Again. No problem, because she said it was okay- wait- where did she go?!?!

Eventually everything got sorted out, and both me and my luggage made it to Hong Kong.

It only occurred to me much later that I did, in fact, have a lighter in my suitcase, and a rather large one at that- the straightener works by lighting an internal flame, powered by the butane cartridge fuel.

Moral of the story- be on your best behavior in Chinese airports, and always wear your hair curly.

PANDAmonium!! (Beijing day 2, part 2)

Panda time!!!

On our way back into the city from the Great Wall, we went to the Beijing Zoo to visit some new friends.  Here is Mr. Indoor Panda:

And here's Mr. Outdoor Panda:

(Do these videos work? If so, here's a video of Mr. Outdoor Panda, commentary by Emily.)

Our last dinner in Beijing was at a traditional Peking Duck restaurant. Like everything else we've eaten, it was pretty delicious.

In addition to the duck, we had probably 15 Chinese dishes, served family-style. I am sooooo getting a Lazy Susan for my kitchen table at home.

I fear this blog has devolved into food porn. Time for bed. 

Great Wall of China? They should call it the Great Staircase of China. (Beijing day 2, part 1)

But first...

A brief photo stop at the 2008 Olympic site. It was pretty foggy today, very light rain on and off, so the photos aren't great, and we didn't get much time to walk around. It was still amazing to see. Here's the Bird's Nest stadium, with the Olympic flame in front of it (the red thing). 

We stopped briefly at a jade factory, but unlike yesterday they did not need any volunteers, so I wasn't able to pocket any free jade on my way out. 

Then it was on to the Great Wall. Here, the mist led to some really spectacular, almost mystical views. 

I guess I did not do enough research on the wall, because I pictured it as having stairs you climbed to get on, and then it would be a pleasant, boardwalk-like experience along the wall. Not so much. The section we were at had massive stairs in both directions. In retrospect, this makes sense as the wall goes along the spine of the mountains. 

Duh. 

Heavy boat and heavy stomachs (Beijing day 1, part 2)

Although it occurs to me now that these are mis-labeled; this is actually our 2nd day in Beijing, but our first full day. 

After stopping for lunch, we visited the site of the Summer Palace. This is where the imperial royal families would go during the summer to escape the city, although in modern day it's only a half hour car ride from the Forbidden City. This is also where the ruthless Emperess Cixi- a.k.a. the Dragon Lady- imprisoned her own nephew for several years (probably a smart move on her part, considering that he was the rightful emperor.)

Here's the marble boat, a boat commissioned by the Dragon Lady, made with money she siphoned from the Chinese navy. The boat is too heavy to float, because- marble. 

You can see that the skies weren't quite as blue today. The smog still wasn't anything like is reported on TV, but sadly it's definitely noticeable. 

Next we stopped at a pearl factory, where we learned about China's freshwater pearl industry. Yours truly got to be the assistant that "killed" the oyster. Unfortunately there aren't any pictures of that on this camera, so you'll have to use your imagination, and envision me sticking a knife into a large oyster, wrenching it open, and getting oyster & pearl guts all over my hands. Pretty awesome. 

Then it was time to eat again. We definitely are not going hungry on this trip, the meals are often and plentiful. Most of them have been served family-style, so we are able to try lots of different items. 

Lastly, back at the hotel, Chirag and his dad Harish challenged us to some ping pong. It was a good thing that we played mixed-doubles, because despite The practice Em & I had the other night, they still would have destroyed us. Here's a typical game between the two of us.

Not So Forbidden City (Beijing day 1, part 1)

We left the hotel this morning at 8am, and didn't return until 8pm. In between we had a busy day seeing the sites and eating copious amounts of Chinese food.

First stop was Tiananmen Square. We didn't go to Mao's mausoleum, but he kept close watch over us the whole time anyway.

After walking through the square, we entered the Forbidden City. Not forbidden anymore, half the population of Asia was also there on group tours.

There was a little area where they let tourists dress up as ancient emperors and concubines, for 20¥ of course. We felt like celebrities when, as we were taking our pictures, some random Chinese people walked up to us and had their friends take pictures of them!

Very surreal, especially when it happened again later in the afternoon, and we weren't dressed up at all! I figured at first that the people had just never seen hair as curly as Emily's but then they dragged me into the picture too. If it happens tomorrow we are going to have to start charging people...

Blue Skies in Beijing

After the sandstorm in Xi'an and the news reports about Beijing's air quality over the past few weeks, I wasn't expecting much today. But we landed to blue skies and sunshine, and not much visible smog at all. No facemasks today!

Mom was taking part in an optional tour this afternoon, so Em and I headed out on our own to explore. Our first stop was the Temple of Heaven.

Pretty impressive.

We also explored the park, and ran across this guy doing some beautification with water.

Afterward we tried to hit some other sites in the city. First stop was the Lama Temple, but it was closed by the time we got there. Next was the Confucius Temple (also closed) but we still did some good Confucius-style thinking.

We walked through some hutongs- traditional courtyard style homes, only a few of which are left because many have been demolished to make room for high rises. Then we went to the Drum Tower (closed) and Bell Tower (closed).

Last stop was Houhai Lake, where we just caught the tail end of the sunset.

Yikes.

What are these and why are they in our Beijing hotel room?!?!

A Busy, Dusty Day in Xi'an

Fresh off getting spanked by Emily at ping pong last night (yes, in addition to a pool and a fitness center, our hotel has a dedicated table tennis room), we headed out this morning for a day full of activities in Xi'an. First stop was a local park. 

Now, the daily itinerary said "you may witness and have the chance to participate in morning exercise, singing and dancing". They weren't kidding. 

Here's Emily and I dancing along with about 2,000 of our newest friends. Note the drummers behind us, keeping time for everyone. There was also a man with a whistle, who seemed to be determining what cadence came next, and several ladies who led the dance steps and pulled people into formation. 

Also in the park, we saw people singing, ballroom dancing, tai-chiing, hacky-sacking, and playing some strange game of skill that involved a whip and a spinning top. I got to try the whip, and I must say it was very cathartic!

After the park we went to a lacquer furniture factory. Everything was gorgeous but sadly way out of my price range. No as-is section like at Ikea. 

Then after lunch we traveled to the site of the Terra Cotta Warriors. It was amazing. 

What I had not realized before was that the warriors weren't found as they are displayed now. Archeologists have had to piece each one back together. After the warriors were made, back in the Qin dynasty, they were sealed in a massive underground tomb, to protect the dead emperor. However, shortly after said emperor died, the farmers revolted and stormed the tomb, looting the warriors' weapons and setting fire to everything. The wooden roof of the tomb collapsed and crushed all the warriors. So guys like this...

are only possible for us to see now because an incredibly patient archeologist has pulled them out of a pit like this...

Lastly, did I mention the dust? A sandstorm moved in early in the morning, so although the sun was shining all afternoon, you couldn't really see it. Here's a picture I took of a magnolia tree (actual colors, no filter):

Luckily, the sandstorm did give us occasion to use the word haboob in general conversation, as well as allowed us to model some of the latest looks in facemask chic. Here's Emily and I with our tour-mate Chirag. 

If you ask nicely I'll let you borrow my mask when I get home. 

Traditional Chinese Medicine

I've picked up a little cold here in China, special gift to me from Emily. As I gave her all my Day-quil when she was sick a few days ago, I had to venture out to the local pharmacy to get some more cold medicine today. 

Em came with me, mostly so that if a crazy driver ran one of us over while we crossed the street, the other one of us could tell Mom the sad news. (Because they're all crazy drivers.)

We'd heard there was a pharmacy across the street from our hotel, but we weren't sure which one it was. The first store we went in was a convenience store, and the guy working there gave me a crazy look when I pantomimed sneezing. 

The second store we tried looked more promising, but in fact was just a larger convenience store. At least the woman working there understood my charades. She drew us a little map so we could figure out that we had to go around the corner. 

We finally found the pharmacy, with ladies in white lab coats and everything. Then the pantomime started all over again, more elaborate this time- me sneezing and coughing, then taking an imaginary pill and feeling all better. Let's just say all those games of Time's Up came in handy, because the gal took me straight to the cold medication. Now it was her turn to act, demonstrating headache, sore throat and achy muscles as she read (in Chinese) the box to me. She was also very sweet and tried very hard to tell me how often it was recommended to be taken, but she hasn't quite mastered the actions for "take 1-2 pills every 12 hours". 

Luckily our friendly and helpful tour guide was able to decipher the package, so I don't ruin this trip with an overdose of Chinese cold medication. 

Dumpling Dinner

Tonight's dinner was at a 100+ year old restaurant. Hands down best meal of the trip (which is saying something as all have been very good). It was a 17-course meal, featuring a different type of dumpling for each course.

From the pictures below, can you guess the dumpling type?

Lost in Translation, part 2

Seriously, what is this?

Good Advice

This sign is posted in our hotel lobby:

In doing my research for this trip, I read that everyone in China smokes. Everyone. So when we got into the shuttle bus after landing in Shanghai, I was not surprised that it reeked of stale cigarette smoke. And when we got to our 5-star hotel and everything there smelled of smoke too, well, that's just how it is.  

But the interesting thing is that even though everything in China smells like smoke, I haven't actually seen very many people smoking. 

I've certainly seen people smoking, and it's not unusual to see people smoking right in front of the sign that says "No Smoking". But it's not been nearly as many people as I expected. People don't smoke inside the restaurants or stores (at least not the ones we've been in). 

It's almost like the current generation realizes smoking is bad for you, but there's so much stale smoke ingrained into everything, from so many years and so many people, that they can't get rid of the smell. 

Compromise

Usually I demand at least five giant-size stone statues be coming out of the wall of the courtyard behind my hotel lobby. This hotel lobby only has three.

I guess I'll have to make do.

Art Appreciation

We stopped at the Shaanxi Provincial History Museum on our way to the hotel in Xi'an.

The name of each artifact and where it was found were in both Chinese and English, but unfortunately the descriptions of the larger exhibits were only in Chinese. So it was kind of difficult to get a sense of things.

Or, as Emily put it, "From what I gathered, the purpose of all of those artifacts was to be excavated from old tombs, right?"

Happy Birthday Mom!

On Thursday we celebrated mom's birthday, but first there were more sites to see on our last day on the river cruise.

We went to a small town along the river called Shibaozi.  We walked to a beautiful old pagoda, built into the side of a cliff. The pagoda was constructed entirely out of wood and built without any metal nails. It was built many years ago but I was too busy taking pictures to listen carefully.

First you crossed a perilous suspension bridge to reach the island it is on. This picture does not do justice to the sway factor on the bridge. When the pagoda was constructed however many years ago, it was perched atop a peak on a peninsula near the town. When the dam was built 10 years ago, the water level rose so high that the temple is now effectively on an island.

View of the pagoda. It was 99 steps to the top, which Emily and I climbed. 99 is very lucky in Chinese. (Everything is lucky in Chinese.)

Back in the boat we got a tour of the bridge, but much to Em's dismay they did not let her steer.

Birthday time! The crew on the ship prepared a delicious birthday cake for Mom, and everyone sang. Turns out the Birthday Song is the same tune in English and Chinese.

Time to board a plane now, so that's the end of the free wifi. We are flying from Chongqing to Xi'an today. Off to our next adventure!